another chance

I can hear the screams and the 911 dialling on the phone,
Is this real or a dream someone please take me home,
I have no recollection of what happened,
All i heard were to gun shots and now am down on the floor,
I don’t want to be in this life anymore,
But i don’t think am ready to go yet,
Or am i really about to depart,
I can feel the hard beat of my heart,
What is my mind set?

To many problems,
I can see my life flash before me,
The times i laughed and cried,
The reasons i kept on going,
I can see my family and they a crying,
Did i really cause them to live so hard?
Tears are running down my cheeks but they feel like rain falls,
And so many years i shed tears of fears because my life wasn’t clear but now i understand right here,
I look at my hand and wonder what i have done so far with my life,
Tilt my head back and hope not to die yet,
I mutter that there is no god worthy of worship but allah,
I look to my chest and feel the bullet wound and the scar,
I look to the sky and i see the moon with only one star,

When they told me you could die at any moment i never listened,
However i heard they say it,
Why, why didn’t i comprehend it?
I’ve been through too much just to slip away,
This must be a sign where is the angel?
I remember the days where i was gang affiliated,
Maybe that’s why this bullet is in my chest i just realised it,
I can’t swallow my pride,
Where is the strength i had through my life?
I feel so weak,
I can barely speak,
My head feel so cold,

The doctors, the knifes, emergency room,
Will they make it in time and safe my life?
Oh God will i have a chance?
I remember the times i ran away from my home,
I was never actually told,
I was never informed this life could get this cold,
I feel like i had my soul sold,
Is my book in life really about to fold?
I swear i thought i was going to die growing old,
Never knew this odd situation would come to me,
Why did that finger on the trigger fold,

A week later and i wake up,
I haven’t died,
The world seems unfamiliar to me now,
I think i appreciate the aspect of life now somehow,
Oh god forgive me for my sins,
Thank you for the mercy and second chance,
This time this is where the righteous life begins,
god help me heal these broken wings,
let me only do the good things.