when i am gone

If i would die would you ever cry?
If i would lie could you ever wish me to die?
If i told you that i loved you more than anything in the world would you reply?
If i took a trip and went missing for a while would you get worried sick?
If i got hurt would you freeze and flip,
If a acted rude and blanked you would you still cook me food,
If i told you i was sick of life and gave you the gun would you shoot?
If i lost my family would you grow me a new family tree?
If i asked you to sing me a melody would you set my heart to a symphony?
If i asked you to stick with me would you stick it out till the end like love strengthened glue?

I have emotions buried in the depth of my soul
My heart darkened like coal,
I was lost and i drifted through life,
I ran so far i sifted from life and strived,
I look up to the sky and i wonder why,
I look down and picture myself six feet under when i die,
I fear no man nor creature but my lord,
But the devil keeps playing games while trying to break in my fort,

If i were to fly today would my family care?
Would they see it as riddance?
Would the girl of my dreams still love me?
Would my friends cry?
How would the people view my decease?
Would they’re love for me increase?

Death is part of life as much as it is to strife,
Death cannot come without life,
Nor can life be if death did not come,
Some say its better on the other side,
But how could you know which side you would end up in
Everyone has skeletons in their closets god forgive me for my sins,
I shed tears to those who lost their way after life from here to where the rainbows begins,

Some cry when they’re hero dies,
But mine died hundreds of years back,
His foot prints i still try to follow,
Hope still exists its time to jump out the shadow,
Some things are just meant to let go,
Some things are meant to be held tight like skin on bones,

I wonder how it looks beyond the stars,
I wonder how long it would take for me to heal these emotional scars,
Some face their execution,
Some search for their soul’s replenishment,
Some aim for nothing but worldly accession,
They say “live your life to the fullest”
They say “spend your time wisely”
I say prepare to die each day,
Let go of everything you always wanted to say,
Always been surrounded by lairs and fake promises,
Heartbroken,
Left,
Lonely,
Angry,
Heart filled with dark thoughts,
God save my soul and save my life from these evil humans.
I wonder if i am truly loved or if i am just a necessity to sociology.