everytime

Depression kicks in,
I smile but there is no joy within,
It’s not the same for me anymore,
It’s like i can see my heart beat on the floor,
To many times I’ve been put through hassle,
Too many times have i been heartbroken,

I did many things that i am ashamed of,
I am surrounded by so many people, who claim to love,
But the love is like a tattooed hand covered by a black glove,
Every time i seem to meet cupid it’s always a bluff,

I can’t seem to be what everyone wants to be,
Not because i simply can’t be,
It’s because my soul doesn’t allow me,
I look in the mirror and i fear my love has died,
I speak to myself wonder why i just silently cried,
I look up and all i see are clouds holding hands in the sky,

The diffidence that hides in my eyes always keeps people away,
The difference between me and a tree is the fact my body doesn’t constantly sway,
Silently as the tree’s shed their leafs this cold spring i drop tears,
As the wind slowly blows by and leaves it comes back like my fears,
I lay with my eyes open wide at nights,
From the moon shining bright till sun light shines through my curtains,

Now am in a stage where my soul is delicate,
With every time i am in love i feel irrelevant,
With every time i feel open minded i seem to be the perfect prey to select,
I am tired i am scared i am scarred and am sick of all of it,
Everything i touch seems to drop to pieces,
It’s like my body reacts to the sadness that my heart releases,

They never realise it’s not enough,
It’s not enough to grab my hand, kiss my lips and call it love,
Don’t look me in the eyes and lie and say you would die for me,
Don’t tell me we are blood and that’s enough,
After what i seen,
Don't speak of friendship when your never there,
After the places i been,
Don't tell me you will always support me when your never aware,
After the betrayals that seem,
To keep happening like a bad dream,
Don’t look me in the eyes and act like we are not on a ghost ship floating along a blood filled stream.