she was lonely

Sometimes it hurts to pray,
Sometimes i can’t face god,
This is because i know how bad i am scarred,

The devil had me under control,
I felt like i had no soul,
Living on impulse,

Thinking mindlessly,
I thought i heard, felt, saw, and experienced it all,
But who knew i was three steps from an eternal downfall,

My bed room was like a murder scene,
I actuality gave up on every single dream,
Sniffing the lines,
Smoking the herbs,
A broken person in a fucked up state,
My worst,

My mother saw me as a living curse,
They all tried to help me,
But i guess satin never showed mercy,
So i dropped to my knees read a thousand god is greats,
I begged my mother please,
I wonder if she even forgave me,

Dealing with the madness i still don’t know how i got into this stress,
I feel like i have a hollow chest,
I don’t even think about aiming to be the best,
I just want a normal life like the rest,
Why am i not like them?
Blessed,
I guess god loves me more,
He made me to live a harder test,

It’s hard out there,
When you find people that really don’t care,
All day do is glare and stare,
Watch me struggle so the pain i just bare,
I know i have to be strong,
I’ve done and been treated wrong,

Can’t help but duplicate the violence and life styles on the television,
I realised the trouble i was in.
I lost hope when i couldn’t get out of this blinding wind,
I was stuck in a dark shadow,
I was in a troublesome tornado,
I don’t even know where on earth to go,
I need to find myself,
God help me find myself,

No friends,
No family,
No one that cares,
No one at all for me,
Never been love struck but i guess life is unfair,
The way i was meant live i never saw to clear,
So i acted stupid out of fear,
No every night i go to sleep with tears

I wonder if i will have a place in heaven,
The struggle is getting harder there is more pressure,
When is it my soul’s departure?
They say earth is not too bad so it can’t be hell,
And it’s not too good it can’t be heaven,
But am living a nightmare and that’s not hard to tell,

but i sit no patiently,
maybe i will live ever after happily,